December Talking #10

[cosmic_llin]

narrativian said: Optimism - where you find your strength, how you renew your hope for the future. Or you can talk about pessimism. But optimism's more fun :-)

Ooh, this is an interesting one!

I find that I identify quite strongly as an optimist - optimism is important for me, and it's an element of my worldview that I've tried to cultivate - although I also feel quite lucky in that it comes naturally, at least partly. Looking at the upside in any situation is just habit now, and it's how I've coped with a lot of difficult times.

I've been laughed at for this but it's true: when I read Pollyanna as a kid it really inspired me - not only to look for the good side of everything, but to think about how I might learn from things that made me upset or uncomfortable. I know Pollyanna is kind of cheesy and filled with obnoxious disability tropes, but it really shaped me and helped me when I was eight and weird and unpopular.

But - where do I find my strength, how do I renew my hope for the future.. hmm... it is partly optimism, which for me is often just doggedly believing that things will be some sort of ok, even if that ok is not in the shape I expected. But my optimism often comes from my self-belief, my knowledge that I have the resources to deal with what life throws at me - and I feel breathtakingly fortunate to have that, because I know it's not a universal thing.

I feel grateful to Terry Pratchett for giving us the vocabulary of Third Thoughts (the thoughts you think about the way you think about the way you think) because I think maybe that's what it is. Somewhere removed from my pain, and how I'm thinking and reacting to my pain, there's something else always saying "Well yes, and all that's true and valid, but at some point it's going to be done and you'll still be here and living and doing stuff and that's not insignificant either."

I'm not sure where I got this from - possibly partly from a childhood that featured poverty, bullying and the frequent small disappointments of being a weird kid in a small town, but also a supportive, stable family life (including an impressively non-traumatic divorce, kudos parents) and regular praise and affirmation of my worth and importance from other quarters.

I feel like I'm rambling now. But the gist is that I don't really know the answer? But I'm very glad to have whatever it is? And as fortunate as I feel to have that something, I'm also immeasurably grateful for all the external sources for optimism and hope and happiness I have - Cara, my family (biological and chosen), my friends, the opportunities and adventures I've had, the not-perfect-but-pretty-great life I have the good fortune to be living at the moment, good books, good TV, cake, music, femslash, really clever storage solutions, kittens...

Basically I think life is more good than bad, most of the time, and I am lucky, and that's nice.

Comments

[sperrywink]

Nice answer. *g*

I remember a number of years ago now when I realized I was inherently optimistic and not pessimistic like I thought. It was a revelation, but a good one.

[cosmic_llin]

Huh, that must have been weird yet awesome to realise!

[narrativian]

That's a fascinating answer, and far more articulate than you may think it is!

Probably a supportive, stable family life (including an impressively non-traumatic divorce, kudos parents) and regular praise and affirmation of my worth and importance from other quarters is a basic biggie.

Also not only to look for the good side of everything, but to think about how I might learn from things that made me upset or uncomfortable - which is a main message of the very good An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth (which I was given as a pressie).

I may pass the text of this post along to a family friend who's stuck in prison for the next four years. She's already been turning her life around a LOT, and this could serve as another solid piece of inspiration!

[cosmic_llin]

Please do pass it on, along with my good wishes for your friend!

[narrativian]

I shall, ta! Must tell you her story one day - really, she doesn't belong in there at all, and it's a quite bizarre set of circumstances, but yes, it's turning out to be sort-of the best thing that could have happened to her.

[sophia_gratia]

*covers your face in sparkly hearts*

I love this for so many reasons. It's so (third-)thoughtful about one of your best traits, and so well articulated, and so (as you put it) self-believing. It performs the thing it's talking about. You're amazing.

[lark_ascends]

Thank you for sharing this.