The Lice - Part One

[cosmic_llin]

(INT, INFIRMARY, DAY)

(Janet has been examining SG1 after their recent mission to the planet Pediculus. She has summoned General Hammond to discuss the situation with him).
(Enter General Hammond).

GH: What’s the situation, Doctor?

JF: Well, sir, I’m afraid it’s serious. With the exception of Teal’c, who has no hair, all the members of SG1 have lice.

(Jack jumps up).

JO’N: Lice? As in, head lice?

JF: I’m afraid so, sir.

(General Hammond looks with concern at the members of SG1).

GH: What course of action would you recommend, Doctor?

JF: Well, SG1 have already been in contact with other base personnel – there’s no telling how far the lice have spread, sir.

GH: Alright, so we’ll seal off the base until we have this contained.

JF: I think I can control the outbreak, if I use some medicated shampoo, sir. However, there isn’t any on the base. Someone will have to find some.

T: I will go.

JO’N: Teal’c, are you sure? It would mean going to a drugstore!

T: I am willing to face the challenge, O’Neill.

(INT, SGC CORRIDOR, DAY)
(SG1, Hammond and Janet stand by the elevator. Teal’c is wearing his green outfit.)

GH: Now, Teal’c, remember, just go straight to the drugstore, and get as much medicated shampoo as you can. Here is a fifty. If it isn’t enough, tell them to charge it to the US Air Force. If there is change, you may keep it.

T: Understood, sir.

SC: Good luck, Teal’c.

DJ: Yeah, good luck.

JO’N: See ya later.

(Teal’c enters the elevator and is gone).

(INT, INFIRMARY, DAY)
(Sam, Jack and Daniel sit together, talking. They all have plastic swimming caps on).

JO’N: I hope Teal’c hurries up with that medicated shampoo. This is so embarrassing. I bet the other SG teams are having a field day.

SC: Oh, sir, I’m sure they’re not. I’m sure they’re just concerned for our welfare.

JO’N: I bet they’re talking about us right now. I bet they’re all saying how dirty we are, how disgusting.

SC: Actually, sir, in several studies, lice have shown a marked preference for clean hair. Anybody can get them. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, sir.

DJ: Wait, wait. You said they like clean hair?

SC: That’s what the research says, yes.

DJ: So, the lice make a choice about what kind of hair they will inhabit?

SC: Um, I guess so…

DJ: So isn’t that evidence of thought? Maybe we shouldn’t be trying to kill them – maybe we should be trying to communicate with them!

JO’N: Here we go…

SC: Daniel, they’re just lice.

DJ: Yeah, and to the Goa’uld, humans were just slaves! We’re treating these lice just like the Goa’uld treated our people!

JO’N: Well, I wouldn’t say that…

DJ: Someone has to stand up for these beings!

JO’N: (aside to Sam) And it looks like it’s going to be Daniel.

(INT, JANET'S OFFICE, DAY)
(Janet sits working at her computer, researching lice cures. As she types, a small creature falls onto the desk. Janet runs her fingers through her hair and finds another one.)

JF: I hope Teal'c hurries with that shampoo...

(EXT, DRUGSTORE, DAY)
(Teal'c stands outside the drugstore. It is closed!)

T: I must complete my mission...

(He looks up and down the street and realises - all the shops are closed!)

T:(in slow realisation) It is a Sunday...


To Be Continued…